"I should...". Surely one of the most unkind and stress-inducing phrases in the English language.
Whether it's pouring another glass of wine while simultaneously saying " I should drink less", or walking/puffing our way up a hill, thinking "I should exercise more often", this negative self-talk is potentially more harmful than we realise.
A wonderful article by Marie Rowland in WellBeing (September, 2021) states: "We are in a constant battle with the life we think we should be leading as opposed to the one we are actually living. The chasm that exists in the middle is where unhappiness resides." So succinctly expressed. So helpful.
A friend recently had a few days where she felt unwell. Nothing life-threatening, but she stayed in bed and in her pjs for three of those days. By the third day she felt somewhat better, so when neighbours knocked on the door mid-morning, she felt guilty answering the door in her pjs. (And yes, she could have chosen to ignore the knock, but told herself she should answer...)
On completion of the conversation with the neighbour, our friend told herself she should do some housework, given that nothing had been done for days. Mid-sweeping, she realised that she was feeling exhausted, and told herself she should go back to bed! Much better.
Do you should on yourself? Is there a particular topic that immediately triggers the shoulds? Love to hear your thoughts.
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